The Taper Week that Wasn't

Back in January I figured I could recover in time. I had no idea how slow my recovery would take or even the true extent of the damage. So here I am. Four months later and a few days away from what was supposed to be my longest race to date, a 60km trail run. I was so pumped back in January. I was running a solid amount each week and was just going to start injecting long runs back into my training when this accident happened. I felt like I HAD this race...except the universe, or my stupidity didn't. So, instead of tapering this week, and watching how much water and salt I take in, I'm working on eating clean and trying to get past the 6km mark. I am having a hard time finding the motivation to run when it feels like a small child is hanging, dragging, onto the side of my knee while punching my outer quad. Awesome. My choice is this; do I go to the race and attempt to do the 20km race? My logical side says NO-you haven't even figured out how to get up to 10km never mind a trail 20km! My runner side says why not, giv'r and see how it goes. Yeah I might be laid up in pain afterwards but at least I'll know where I stand. Except, I already know where I stand, at the bottom. Add to that the fact I would need to rouse everyone for a 7am drive out to the trail head for 2 hours of bug bites and I think I'll skip it. How do I feel about that? Angry, really. Mad that I couldn't get it together fast enough for even the 20km. Mad that I'm not doing the 60km, mad that I'm not even attending the race I've grown to see as the highlight of my racing season. Except, there won't be a racing season, not for me anyhow. Maybe I can pull something out for the fall, but right now I'm going to take it one run at a time and work on getting to that 10km mark.