Eight More Days

Well the countdown is on. I've had my MRI (Thank you Mom!), and now I'm waiting for my follow up Doctor appointment next Tuesday. I got a nifty CD with all of the MRI images on it, so I did what everyone does, and tried to Google diagnosis this problem based on my images. So far, I can clearly see my bone bruise. Yup, that's it. Obviously there is a lot of swelling but I don't see anything else wrong. I can see my ACL and my PCL, both of which seem to be okay. My meniscus look okay too...I think. Ugh, my basic radiology isn't doing the job-I guess that's why people go to school for this! So from my POV my knee is fine! Just a stupid bone bruise! Ah, but I know if it was just that they wouldn't have ordered an MRI and I know I wouldn't have 3 more serious diagnosis. Waiting sucks, but I remind myself I could be waiting a lot longer. I'm still on crutches. I feel like I've gained 50lbs since I was injured. And it all still sucks. I've started the P90X program so I have something to focus my energy on and hopefully keep me sane and from gaining more weight. Running seems like a long lost dream nowadays. I have a hard time looking at my Facebook newsfeed with all of my fellow runners having fun in the snow and finishing races. I have tried to run, in place and for about 30 seconds, and it felt okay. A bit stiff in the front of my knee but I think I could probably get out 2 miles or so if I kept it slow and focused on a forefoot strike. Ah, but I know that would be foolish to do, especially when I have no idea what's wrong with my knee so doing something that could make it worse sounds like a stupid idea. So I don't run. Last night I dreamt I was reading a running magazine lol. I am getting ever more frustrated with my crutches. I think I could get around with just the cane now but my PT is firm that I need to wear a brace before I can switch. Really, my leg feels almost 100%-I just have the odd sharp pain or general feeling of weakness at times so I feel like its almost back to normal, although something doesn't feel quite right inside there so I know something is up. I've also realized I hate braces (my husband laughed at that one). They are too warm, they bunch in the back of the knee and I don't fully believe they actually DO anything aside from be a constant reminder I hurt myself. With all that in mind I was disappointed when my PT suggested I use the Playmaker 2 brace by DonJoy. While it looks like a good brace, it also looks like it has everything I hate about braces. So I emailed the brace people directly and asked, based on my 4 different diagnosis, which brace they would recommend. They recommended the Playmaker if my injury is a mild ACL sprain. Aside from that they don't recommend it if my injury is any combo of the other 3 diagnosis. They recommended a variety of other braces, which tells me I really need a firm diagnosis before I go spending my insurance money on anything. Ugh, so no brace means no cane and the result is me still on my crutches-even my bus driver said that today-"Still on the crutches eh?" Yup. Yes. I. Am.