Eight More Days

Well the countdown is on. I've had my MRI (Thank you Mom!), and now I'm waiting for my follow up Doctor appointment next Tuesday. I got a nifty CD with all of the MRI images on it, so I did what everyone does, and tried to Google diagnosis this problem based on my images. So far, I can clearly see my bone bruise. Yup, that's it. Obviously there is a lot of swelling but I don't see anything else wrong. I can see my ACL and my PCL, both of which seem to be okay. My meniscus look okay too...I think. Ugh, my basic radiology isn't doing the job-I guess that's why people go to school for this! So from my POV my knee is fine! Just a stupid bone bruise! Ah, but I know if it was just that they wouldn't have ordered an MRI and I know I wouldn't have 3 more serious diagnosis. Waiting sucks, but I remind myself I could be waiting a lot longer. I'm still on crutches. I feel like I've gained 50lbs since I was injured. And it all still sucks. I've started the P90X program so I have something to focus my energy on and hopefully keep me sane and from gaining more weight. Running seems like a long lost dream nowadays. I have a hard time looking at my Facebook newsfeed with all of my fellow runners having fun in the snow and finishing races. I have tried to run, in place and for about 30 seconds, and it felt okay. A bit stiff in the front of my knee but I think I could probably get out 2 miles or so if I kept it slow and focused on a forefoot strike. Ah, but I know that would be foolish to do, especially when I have no idea what's wrong with my knee so doing something that could make it worse sounds like a stupid idea. So I don't run. Last night I dreamt I was reading a running magazine lol. I am getting ever more frustrated with my crutches. I think I could get around with just the cane now but my PT is firm that I need to wear a brace before I can switch. Really, my leg feels almost 100%-I just have the odd sharp pain or general feeling of weakness at times so I feel like its almost back to normal, although something doesn't feel quite right inside there so I know something is up. I've also realized I hate braces (my husband laughed at that one). They are too warm, they bunch in the back of the knee and I don't fully believe they actually DO anything aside from be a constant reminder I hurt myself. With all that in mind I was disappointed when my PT suggested I use the Playmaker 2 brace by DonJoy. While it looks like a good brace, it also looks like it has everything I hate about braces. So I emailed the brace people directly and asked, based on my 4 different diagnosis, which brace they would recommend. They recommended the Playmaker if my injury is a mild ACL sprain. Aside from that they don't recommend it if my injury is any combo of the other 3 diagnosis. They recommended a variety of other braces, which tells me I really need a firm diagnosis before I go spending my insurance money on anything. Ugh, so no brace means no cane and the result is me still on my crutches-even my bus driver said that today-"Still on the crutches eh?" Yup. Yes. I. Am.

Wait Time Progress-Thanks to My Mom

Well, here I am. Four weeks of no running. I still have most of my sanity...I think. I've been doing my physiotherapy exercises as directed, and a few more if I'm feeling good, and I'm doing P90X pretty regularly. The P90X is giving me a tiny weeny bit of the endorphins I used to get from running so I think that is keeping me sane more than anything. After using crutches now for over 2 weeks I think the extra arm exercises are helping me get around more easily. I can't wait to get a brace and move to a cane-these crutches suck. Oh and I'm also having to be a bit more strict about what I'm eating since I'm not burning 700 calories a day steady any more :-( My pant choices are becoming few and far between! So my awesome mom called me Saturday and offered to pay for a private MRI so I could get back on the roads 100 times faster than if I waited in the public wait queue. So, I called the private clinic to see how long their wait time would be and expected a 3 week wait, nope, they could get me an appointment in a week's time-wait a sec-a single week?! I can't tell you what I difference that makes to my state of mind compared to the "up to" 268 day wait in the public health care system. It isn't that I expect to be back on the trails in a few weeks or anything, no, I know the road to recovery is going to be lengthy with this injury, but knowing what the hell I'm rehabbing for and what the plan (surgery or not) is huge to me. If I've got a plan then I'll work the plan. If I don't have a plan and 4 diagnosis I feel helpless and useless. At least with this I'll know in the next 3 weeks what's wrong and what I'm doing about it...whatever that is. My mom doesn't have a $1000 just kicking around, she works longer hours than most people I know so for her to offer this to me is so huge, such a gift. I cried when she offered, because I was so grateful and because I was angry at myself for being stupid and getting hurt (which she told me to stop, accidents happen, I know they do-but still). So, feeling grateful, I am patiently waiting to see how fast my orthopedic surgeon can get the file to this imaging center and hopefully this week I'll actually have an MRI Appointment set!!!