Heavy Heart and Muscle Tantrums

I found my physiotherapist to help me through this torn PCL. I've had Brent as my therapist before but it was for another issue four or five years ago. He's a big cyclist so he should be able to tell me if I'm okay to start cycling on a stationary bike. I start tomorrow morning...yay? My experience with physiotherapists has really run the range of super sweet to a closet psychopath-seriously. The super sweet physiotherapists, while they seem to double as a counselor, they also don't push me enough so I can see results quickly with whatever injury brought me in to their office. The psychopath only happened once, but it was for a finger I broke in 3 places. He was rough (physically), gave me a lecture on my priorities when I was late ONE time (I had even called ahead to let them know!), meanwhile he was constantly late for our appointments, told me how he "got back" at other patients who were late or missed appointments, made weird statements on how all physiotherapists must like to cause people pain (um.... what?!) and even chastised me for grocery shopping on the weekend for god's sake! If I disagreed with him he would be even more rough, which he said he needed to be because I wasn't working hard enough on my own. Fair enough, but when you have no tendon to use because of a surgical accident, bending a finger that was broken in 3 places is only going to have limited results at best. I stopped going to him after 7 or 8 visits. Honestly I'm surprised I made it that long. I always was in more pain when I left that guy. I've also had totally normal physiotherapists, which is the category Brent falls into. He seems to enjoy his career and is efficient at getting people back on their feet (or legs, knees, whatever). He did seem a bit aloof, but he's also super busy. Whatever, we don't need to be BFFs but I need to know I can trust my therapists not to leave me in more pain than when I started, be willing to formulate a treatment plan together and know that I am willing to do whatever I need to do to get out of their office and back outside doing what I love. I don't think that's asking too much. Last night I had horrible calf cramps in my left leg, so bad I was rolling around on the bed clutching my leg waking my husband from his sleep. The leg still hurts this morning so I asked a friend what he thought and he said it's my calf muscle "crying out for exercise." - I love how he put that. My whole body is crying out for exercise though!! He recommends swimming to help. I'm going to use the hot tub tonight while my daughter has swim class so I'm hoping if it hasn't calmed down it will after that. OUCH!! Like this didn't hurt enough already! My heavy heart is from losing a good friend from my childhood to cancer. She was a beautiful, creative, funny and a straight up good friend to me during some difficult years in my own life. We were on the swim team together for years and she once tried to teach me to play her favorite instrument, the violin. I was so bad at it she said I should stick to the drums-she was right! Despite her beautiful and generous soul she suffered greatly from bowel cancer these past 7 years and passed away yesterday. She leaves behind her husband Andrew (who she also knew since childhood) their two adopted children, her younger brother Manuel, her parents, along with countless friends and fans who adored her and her music. My heart breaks for her and her family. RIP Fleur